Monday, March 29, 2010


I was folding some laundry. At the end, I had one leftover sock. This happens fairly often. But this time, I had a flash of insight.

What if instead of eating socks, like everyone always assumes, the washer or dryer is CREATING SOCKS?!

This could be the discovery of a lifetime! I quickly checked my sock drawer, and it looked pretty full. I couldn't remember the last time I'd bought socks, and yet there were BRAND NEW SOCKS right in front of me!

If new socks really are appearing, just think of the implications. I could collect them in pairs and give them away as gifts. No more agonizing over what to buy someone for their birthday, because who wouldn't appreciate a nice pair of clean socks!

I'm going to start keeping accurate track of my socks.

Friday, March 26, 2010

The Story

Some time ago, I decided to make my artwicutweets (artwiculate tweets) more interesting (at least for me) by telling a story, one tweet per day. My first tweet of the story was on Saturday, 2010 March 13.

I know where the story is heading, but on any given day, the WOTD (word of the day) can take it in an unanticipated direction.

I was originally going to tweet the story every day, come hell or high water, but some days I'm either not in the right frame of mind, or I don't want to fit a square peg (the WOTD) into a round hole (the story), or I just can't make the time. On the other hand, I'll occasionally make more than one story tweet for the same WOTD, if it helps the story along.

Here's the beginning of the story:

Zak awoke. A new day, a new job, a new town, a new life. A satisfying pandiculation seemed like a good way to start!

Zak reflected on his past - all his yesterdays at that onerous job - all his yesternight-s with that odious woman. He shuddered.

As Zak thought about about how parsimonious his former boss was, he realized that his ex was stingy too, in more ways than one.

Thinking of his new life ahead dispelled the languor of years of delusion. Zak headed out, upbeat for the first time in years.

Is desire fungible? Zak had been treated as a cog in a machine. He looked forward to being someone's irreplaceable inspiration.

New job. First staff meeting. Zak listened intently. "Nice tae meit ye! Whaur ar ye frae?" Oh no, an impenetrable brogue!

On Zak's office tour... "And if you need a break, she'll talk your ear off about absolutely nothing." "Flibbertigibbet, check."

And Zak, in case you have a penchant for social media, you should know that the company blocks access to Twitter. "Nooooooooooo!"

Zak's first day done, he knew he had an oneiric job (even sans Twitter). With any luck, he'd meet his dream girl soon, too.

"Falling in love is a misnomer," thought Zak. "It's more like being hit by a freight train. Why is my train so late?"

"All I want is someone to share a lifetime of playful persiflage and amorous adventures," thought Zak as he left the bookstore.

As she entered the bookstore, Ann thought, "All I want is someone to share a lifetime of playful persiflage and amorous adventures."

Sunday, March 21, 2010


This weekend I worked on cleaning up some of the tree damage from the February 2010 snowstorm and the March 2010 nor'easter.

Friday, March 19, 2010

The Best Laid Plans...

I was planning to update my blog at least once each day, but you see how well that's going! I always seem to get an inspiration for a post when I have no access to the internet.

Well, that's my life in a nutshell: I get inspired to accomplish things when I have no ability to do them, yet when I have the ability, I am not inspired.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

A Weighty Matter

Hey, I gained a pound last week!

Since weight is equal to mass times acceleration, either mass or acceleration must have changed.

The acceleration of gravity at Earth's surface is about 9.8 m/s2. My weight increased by 1 pound, which is about 0.6% for me. If the acceleration of gravity at Earth's surface increased by 0.6%, then Earth's mass must have increased by that amount. Earth masses1 about 5975 x 1021 kg, and 0.6% of that is about 36 x 1021 kg. That's about the same as Europa, one of the four largest moons of Jupiter. (Europa is just a bit smaller than our own Moon.)

So an object with the mass of Europa collided with Earth last week, and only I noticed!

Or maybe I just ate too much shoo-fly pie.

1 I'm using "mass" as a verb, because Earth doesn't "weigh" anything!

Sunday, March 14, 2010

More Time

Whenever I get to the end of my day, I always want to stay up later and do more things. I never have time to read in bed anymore, or watch a movie on television uninterrupted from start to finish. I used to play all sorts of strategy computer games. No more.

I estimate that the day would have to be about 29 hours long for me to do everything I have to do plus everything that I want to do.

Couldn't we all find good use for an extra five hours each day?

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Daylight Saving Time

Daylight Saving Time? Really?? We all have to change the time on our clocks to "save daylight"? That's the most inane thing anyone's ever thought up!

Hey, people commute too much. Let's redefine 1 kilometer to be 900 meters so that we can all keep doing what we've always done, yet pretend we are making a difference.

(Yes, it's an imperfect analogy.)

Twice each year we have to change our clocks, causing a week or so of increased accidents, heart attacks, and inconvenience. And for what? Maybe 50 years ago, it made a difference in electricity bills, but not any more.

Please, let's stop this madness. How I envy you, who live in areas that stay on Standard Time.

No More 140 Char Limit

I joined twitter in August 2009, so I've spent the last seven months microblogging -- fitting everything into 140 character posts. I need to retrain myself!

Friday, March 12, 2010


I thought of a new title for my blog: A Perendinator's Musings

Okay, so it's a mouthful. But it fits my twitter name: @pn8r. And I think it's unique!

Maybe it should be spelled "Perendinater" instead, but I like the -or suffix better.

Oh... to perendinate is to put off until the day after tomorrow. That fits me perfectly!

Thursday, March 11, 2010