Some time ago, I decided to make my artwicutweets (artwiculate tweets) more interesting (at least for me) by telling a story, one tweet per day. My first tweet of the story was on Saturday, 2010 March 13.
I know where the story is heading, but on any given day, the WOTD (word of the day) can take it in an unanticipated direction.
I was originally going to tweet the story every day, come hell or high water, but some days I'm either not in the right frame of mind, or I don't want to fit a square peg (the WOTD) into a round hole (the story), or I just can't make the time. On the other hand, I'll occasionally make more than one story tweet for the same WOTD, if it helps the story along.
Here's the story so far:
Zak awoke. A new day, a new job, a new town, a new life. A satisfying pandiculation seemed like a good way to start!
Zak reflected on his past - all his yesterdays at that onerous job - all his yesternight-s with that odious woman. He shuddered.
As Zak thought about about how parsimonious his former boss was, he realized that his ex was stingy too, in more ways than one.
Thinking of his new life ahead dispelled the languor of years of delusion. Zak headed out, upbeat for the first time in years.
Is desire fungible? Zak had been treated as a cog in a machine. He looked forward to being someone's irreplaceable inspiration.
New job. First staff meeting. Zak listened intently. "Nice tae meit ye! Whaur ar ye frae?" Oh no, an impenetrable brogue!
On Zak's office tour... "And if you need a break, she'll talk your ear off about absolutely nothing." "Flibbertigibbet, check."
And Zak, in case you have a penchant for social media, you should know that the company blocks access to Twitter. "Nooooooooooo!"
Zak's first day done, he knew he had an oneiric job (even sans Twitter). With any luck, he'd meet his dream girl soon, too.
"Falling in love is a misnomer," thought Zak. "It's more like being hit by a freight train. Why is my train so late?"
"All I want is someone to share a lifetime of playful persiflage and amorous adventures," thought Zak as he left the bookstore.
As she entered the bookstore, Ann thought, "All I want is someone to share a lifetime of playful persiflage and amorous adventures."
"Maybe I am a bit idiosyncratic, but isn't that part of my charm?" thought Zak as he sprinkled cheese on his pizza in a pi shape.
Zak could easily think of his ex as supercilious, but that wasn't entirely fair. And what would it say of his judgment back then?
Cass knew her co-workers thought she was loquacious, but she was curious what the new guy, Zak, thought. More than curious.
"Best place in town for a milkshake? The V.V.V." When Zak got there, he saw: "Veronica's Velvet Vaccimulgence" He loved this town!
Zak brooded over that stingy, odious virago; he still harbored much anger. Was he running toward his future or away from his past?
"Zak, since you're new, we're assigning you to a well-established team, working on Project Gumption. Your team leader is Ann."
Zak was told: "Phil was a talented team member who didn't see eye-to-eye with us. After an obloquy, he left. We miss his contributions."
So, Zak, what brought you to a new job in a new town? "Serendipity, my friend. Serendipity..." It was better than the alternative.
Zak knew that Cass was the office flibbertigibbet, but her lunchtime conversation was so desultory that his mind was wandering.
As Cass explained the various intricacies of her life, she noticed that Zak's attention was as desultory as the others had been.
Years ago, Zak's friends homologate-d his fiancée. Former friends, that is. Explains a lot - she's now his ex. Poor judgement all around.
Zak was glad that, although Cass was chatty, she was not obstreperous - wait, would he forever be comparing each woman to his ex?
Cass asked Zak to go for a walk with her after lunch. "It's good exercise :)" Ostensibly.
Zak had thought a new job in a new town would be his panacea. Now he realized just how naive he'd been.
[After a break of nearly five months, from May 17 to Oct 13, tweets resumed.]
He hadn't heard from Zak in ages, so he dexterous-ly dialed his number. He was surprised to hear a woman's voice answer the phone.
Dropping out of sight for a while was always an idiocrasy of Zak's, thought his friend on his way to meet Zak for lunch.
He'd never seen Zak look so happy. He seemed as if he'd gambol about the restaurant, instead of sit to eat lunch.
"So, Zak, are you finally over that draconian ex of yours?" "I usually think of her as odious, but these days I don't think of her at all!"
Zak explained that Cass had not only been a desultory flibbertigibbet, but a philodox as well. Her opinions were all over the place.